John 13:34-35Living Bible (TLB)
34 “And so I am giving a new commandment to you now—love each other just as much as I love you. 35 Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
I have been struggling with loving my 18-year-old through the transition time of a young teenager to a young growing man. He will be graduating from high school in a few short months. He has made the decision to not attend further schooling and will be looking for work.
I have been nagging, controlling, not trusting, and not showing love. Too many of my personal desires of wanting him to have a perfect life are screaming at the top of their lungs in my motherly head. The many failures I had as a young adult trickle into my thoughts leaving me in fear and anxiety. My adult habits of organization and perfection come blaring out of me like sweat from a good workout. Conflict and nagging keep creeping in with every spoken word.
I finally had an emotional collapse with a dear friend about my behaviors. The ugliness of the reality of constantly harassing and questioning him was poured out to my friend. The desire for him to find the perfect job on the first go around was exposed. My urgency of making sure he looks good in other people’s eyes so it doesn’t reflect poorly on me was discovered.
With tears rolling down my face from the realization of these bad behaviors she gently reminded me that I need to LOVE. Love him for who God made him to be. The young man who has been a good kid overall, who loves to talk to us, who likes being in our home and shows many good qualities of a caring and loving person. My friend helped me remember these good qualities and how much I love him.
To see our young son, man, the way God sees him has been hard. God sees all his gifts, skills, talents, and personality. Only I see the lack of qualities and they really are not a lack of, they are simply unique to how God made him. He is lovely in God’s eyes just as God made him.
My friend told me to go tell him how much I love him just the way he is. That I am proud of everything he is doing. To remind him I’m available to help him if he wants it. To support and encourage him and don’t tear him down. Build him up with LOVE.
I took the challenge and am trying to love like Jesus loves. By being tender and caring, trying not to judge and seeing all the good vs all the negative. Trying to LOVE like God has taught with patience, kindness, and love that never fails. God help me LOVE!